Put the Friendship Back Into Your Relationship Today - Psych Central

This guest article from YourTango was written by Kim Olver.

In an article published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, researchers found that couples who value their friendship over other aspects of their relationships report greater romance and sexual satisfaction over couples who look to their partners mostly for sexual gratification.

This probably doesn?t surprise anyone ? but it?s great to have the research to back it up. So why do you think a friendship with your significant other will actually increase the odds you will have long-lasting love?

When I surveyed 100 happy couples for my book, Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life, friendship and quality time together are in the top 20 factors the couples themselves said are important to their relationship success. Adding those two responses together, 70 percent of respondents found those to be important factors.

When I think of reasons people cheat, I often hear things like, ?She never supports me.? ?He didn?t want to spend time with me.? ?She doesn?t understand me.? ?He never really listens when I talk to him.? ?I don?t even think s/he likes me.? ?S/he is always complaining.?

Aren?t all these statements really the opposite of the core of friendship?

Think about how you are with your friends. You tell each other everything (are there things you keep secret from your partner?). You look forward to being together (are there times you dread spending time with your partner?). You freely give your time, energy and attention to your friends (do you do the same with your partner?).

It?s rare that we criticize our friends. In fact, we often do the opposite. We really listen to them, attempting as best we can to understand their position. Even when we think our friend might be wrong, we defend him or her, nonetheless. We would never publicly put down our friends. We support them through dark times and encourage them to always be the person they are meant to be.

Too often in our romantic relationships, we play a different role. Not in the beginning of the relationship, though. In the beginning, we treat our partner like the best friend we ever had. If you still have a solid friendship with your long-term partner, congratulate yourselves and celebrate your friendship this week. You will likely be together for a very long time.

If, however, your relationship has gotten off track and you realize you aren?t being the best friend you could be to your partner, why not change that now?

You don?t even need their commitment to do the same for you. Ask yourself, ?What kind of person do I want to be in my relationship with my most significant relationship of choice?? Take a long look in the mirror and ask, ?Is that the person I am being right now??

If the answer to those questions is no, then think about performing a random act of kindness in your relationship. One of the best gifts we can give our partners is the gift of total acceptance of who they are without expecting anything in return.

Don?t think, Why should I do this if s/he isn?t going to do it too? Is that how you treat your friends?

You have recognized you are not being the person you want to be in your relationship. You are the only one who can change that. Your partner may notice and respond accordingly or she or he may continue being exactly the same. It doesn?t really matter. What?s most important is that you take control of the one thing you can control in your relationship ? what you do!

Start today and you will feel better and there?s a great chance your relationship will improve dramatically as a result. Put the friendship back in your relationship now!

To stay in touch with Kim, go to The Relationship Center, sign up for her email list, and receive her free report on Relationships from the InsideOut.

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Couple having fun photo available from Shutterstock

Footnotes: Contributed by YourTango.com, an online magazine dedicated to love, life and relationships. From dating to marriage, parenting to empty-nest, relationship challenges to relationship success, YourTango is at the center of the conversations that are closest to our over 3 million readers' hearts. With daily contributions from our Experts, we have a little something for everyone looking to create healthier lives. We're excited to offer our contributions to the PsychCentral community, and invite you to visit us on YourTango.com.

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APA Reference
Experts, Y. (2013). Put the Friendship Back Into Your Relationship Today. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 25, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/23/put-the-friendship-back-into-your-relationship-today/

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Source: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/23/put-the-friendship-back-into-your-relationship-today/

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Oscar race is going right down to the wire

By Gael Fashingbauer Cooper, TODAY

If you're a betting sort, you'd be better off steering clear of a lot of Academy Awards action this weekend. Find another place to wager -- maybe April's NFL draft or the weekend box-office numbers. While some Oscar categories seem like total locks, there's enough last-minute murmuring among film fans that a few shake-ups are almost guaranteed.

Warner Bros., DreamWorks

"Argo" and "Lincoln" are still favorites for the best-picture Oscar in what remains a wide-open race.

Start with your sure things. You're good to go if you pick Adele's "Skyfall," the James Bond theme song, to take home the best original song honor. Daniel Day-Lewis is unlikely to be toppled as the best actor front-runner, and Anne Hathaway is dreaming a very good dream as she scoops up award after award for her role as Fantine in "Les Miserables" -- she'll likely claim the best supporting actress Oscar too.

But in category after category, all bets are off. Best picture looked like a lock for "Lincoln," but a snub in the best director category for Ben Affleck threw the spotlight on "Argo." Sure, he won't be competing with Steven Spielberg and Ang Lee for the director's Oscar, but his being ignored may have helped his film gain attention -- and maybe a statuette.

Best actress? Jessica Chastain was an early favorite for her role as CIA agent Maya in "Zero Dark Thirty." Her star has fallen as young upstart Jennifer Lawrence of "Silver Linings Playbook" earned more and more attention. Lawrence, just 22, claimed the Golden Globe and the Screen Actors Guild honor for her role. And as Oscar night looms, the oldest contender of all is starting to claim some buzz. French actress Emmanuelle Riva, nominated for her role in "Amour," is 85 -- and she'd be the oldest best actress winner ever if she receives the trophy. (There's also a young contender in Quvenzhane Wallis, who is just 9, but it'd be a shock if she pulled it off.)

The winners aside, the ceremony itself is also full of unanswered questions. "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane will host for the first time, and his edgy humor isn't the style the Oscars usually go for. He could neuter his jokes for a presumably more traditional Oscar audience, or he could go all-out with innuendo and insults, which could either earn him criticism or praise for pushing the envelope.

Warner Bros., DreamWorks, Univer

Though the Oscar show lineup isn't clear, plenty of rumors are out there about what will happen when. Some major stars will be presenting awards, including Jack Nicholson, Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep.

There's expected to be a segment honoring 50 years of James Bond, though early hopes that all of the Bond actors would reunite seem to have been dashed. A tribute to movie musicals, pegged to the best-picture nomination for "Les Miserables," is expected to highlight recent musicals such as "Chicago" and "Dreamgirls."

Many eyes will be on the annual In Memoriam tribute. Every year, viewers watch for inclusion of their favorite movie stars, directors and others in the industry who passed away the previous year. And every year, the montage leaves one or more major names out, and Twitter lights up with complainers. This year, it will be especially tough for the Academy to please everyone. 2012 saw dozens of deaths from all aspects of moviedom, from Whitney Houston to Jack Klugman, Ernest Borgnine to Nora Ephron.

And those who remember Academy Awards telecasts past, where the orchestra rushes to play off winners whose blather on in their speeches, know that the three-hour show always has trouble keeping to its timetable. Which makes a recent Academy decision seem odd, or perhaps welcome: Instead of ending the show with the night's biggest award --?best picture --?the Academy has announced it will end with a musical number by host MacFarlane and Broadway and Hollywood star Kristin Chenoweth. Makes sense if you consider that this means the final speeches won't be cut short. But will viewers stick around for a musical number once they've already seen the show's last big award? Like so many questions about this year's Oscars, we won't know until the end of the show.

The Oscars air Sunday at 8:30 p.m. ET?on ABC.

Who do you pick to win? Vote in our poll, and tell us on Facebook.

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Source: http://todayentertainment.today.com/_news/2013/02/22/17058865-oscar-race-is-going-right-down-to-the-wire?lite

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Second killer U.S. tornado confirmed in Texas; four other tornadoes on Thursday

The second killer U.S. tornado this year has been confirmed in Texas along with four other tornadoes across the South from severe storms on Thursday.

The National Weather Service reported on Friday that an EF-1 tornado with estimated winds of 104 mph tore a damage path 4.5 miles long across parts of Sabine County, Texas, just after 1 p.m. CST Thursday.

Along this tornado's 150-yard-wide damage path, a mobile home was overturned and dozens of trees were blown down and snapped. One of those trees fell on a mobile home, killing a 74-year-old woman inside.

This tornado hit without any warning from the NWS.

The first killer tornado this year hit Adairsville, Ga. on Jan. 30, where two people were killed. This tornado was rated as a strong EF-3 with 160 mph winds.

The deadly Sabine County tornado was the first in the state of Texas since April 24, 2007, when an EF-3 tornado hit Maverick County.

This was one of five tornadoes that tore across the South with two tornadoes confirmed in Louisiana with two others in Mississippi.

Get more interesting environment and science and space news. Also, follow along with the thousands of others for periodic weather updates, news and notes on Twitter.

Source: http://www.examiner.com/article/second-killer-u-s-tornado-confirmed-texas-four-other-tornadoes-on-thursday?cid=rss

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MC Hammer suggests he was a victim of racial profiling during arrest in Northern California

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Gold And Silver - The Market Oracle

Commodities / Gold and Silver 2013 Feb 24, 2013 - 01:21 PM GMT

By: Michael_Noonan

Developing market activity is the best and most reliable source for market information. All you have to do is follow what the activity is saying, and you will have the clearest idea of where the market is headed. For the near term, of heightened concern for many, the market says the current decline is far from over. Price may not be far from the low of the decline, but the trend is down, and it takes time to turn a trend around, so do not expect to see a dramatic rise in the price of either gold or silver.

Our downside target of $1600 gold has been exceeded, while the $28 target for silver has not been met, although in horseshoes, it would be a leaner. [See Decline Not Over, 1st and 3rd charts, click on http://bit.ly/WWXFlt]. Next week, who knows?

The biggest advantage in letting the market speak loudest is that all one need do is follow its path, for it always leads to a logical conclusion. The conclusion may not fit with one's hopes or expectations, many times, but the market never misleads in its intent. It is not always easy to read, occasionally, so during those times, it is best to do nothing until a clearer direction becomes more discernible.

This week, the silver charts lead because we see them as more telling than gold. The monthly is our starting point. It will become apparent why silver warrants more focus when compared to gold as you view the respective charts.

We continue to mention the bullish spacing because it puts the metals into an important context from a larger perspective, and the spacing lets us know that silver and gold remain in uptrends with gold net stronger, but just not for the near term. A look at the monthly gold chart will make that perfectly clear.

This does not mean gold/silver will not still go lower. For now, developing market activity continues to point in that direction. Prices may be at or near a low, but we see no ending action that says one has been reached.

There is a very positive development in silver, even after last week's sharp decline. An important change in behavior occurred in August 2012 when silver rallied out of the doldrums for two strong months, "2" on the chart. What is somewhat impressive about the current decline is how it has been labored relative to the two month rally in mid-2012. After 4+ months, [it says 5* on the charts, the * signifying the 5th month is not over, and no one knows where it will end], that breakout area is still holding.

Compare the two strong rally bars with the 5 overlapping decline bars. They tells us sellers are expending a lot more effort to drive price down to the starting level where buyers took over last August.

It could be that February will continue to fall and go under the 26 level, we do not know. All we can do is look at what is known, to date, and draw some conclusions. Seeing more detail in the weekly and daily charts may help.

When you compare the weekly gold chart to silver, you will see how gold is weaker for the near term. We do not follow any fundamentals, but it could well be that the underlying supply/demand factors for silver, with its industrial use, are far more important than viewing silver as a poor man's gold substitute as a store of wealth. Similar usage demands do not exist for gold.

Price remains in a down channel, just it is slightly under, and it is also near the breakout level from August 2012, both concurrently offering potential support in this negative market.

An explanation is provided in the left corner of the chart concerning the dashed portion of the lines. They extend from 3 and 2, respectively, at the point in time just after swing high 3 is known. How price reacts to these lines provides important market information.

In the previous article, Decline Not Over, http://bit.ly/WWXFlt, also on the third chart we commented how price failed to reach the upper channel line, see arrows below, and maybe head back toward $28? This is how one pays attention to the market's message in order to avoid surprises or be on the wrong side.

One reason why we say silver may be at/near a low point is the climatic volume, three days ago, which also drove price under the lower channel oversold line. Markets often end in excess, and sharply higher volume always warrants attention for it almost always entails a transfer of risk from weak into strong hands. Smart money buys bottoms, and they show their hand by increased volume.

The volume from last Wednesday is mostly all short-covering. Net new buying usually comes in after a bottom is confirmed, and that is a caveat for acknowledging that price can still go lower, maybe not by much, but sill lower, to whatever degree. There has been no indication of confirmed ending action, yet.

The last two trading days have much smaller ranges and overlapping bars. The market is telling us there was zero downside follow-through after Wednesday, and overlapping bars reflect a balance between buyers and sellers at a point where sellers have been in total control. These are littler messages, and they need confirmation before acting on them.

It is interesting to note how price stopped just above the $28 support. Why? Why not just crush buyers even more, while sellers have so much control? The questions address what we implied above, are sellers still in total control?

For different reasons, as explained so may times before, buy physical silver, especially at these lower levels. As to futures, stay away from the long side. Picking bottoms is one of the surest ways of losing money. Better to just give your broker a big check and make at least one person happy. You also limit your "loss" to the size of the check.

The trend is down. Consistent money is not made trading against the trend. Period.

The monthly gold chart screams bull market! The bullish spacing is huge. As a reminder, bullish spacing exists when the current swing low remains above the last swing high, and we have drawn heavy lines for each. When smart money is so positive on a market, there is no waiting to see how the last swing high will be retested. The urgency to buy is so strong that a "space" is left behind, and it says how strong is the buyers' conviction to the long side.

Context is important. Price could break the $1520+ lows and gold would still be in a very strong uptrending market. It will simply take more time to overcome resistance from the $1900 highs established in September 2011.

An important point to keep in mind: the market does not care about your timetable. In fact, it does not even know what your expectations are. All it does is provide price and volume information. It is otherwise neutral. How you choose to respond to the flow of information is up to you. For now, it is telling everyone that it will be some time before an uptrend resumes.

Here is where you can see how gold is weaker relative to silver. We placed a box around the four-month activity that is acting as a buffer to the current price decline, in addition to the previous occasions when this level held, forming strong support.

This is our read of what the market is saying, right now. Focus on the last two weekly bars. The last one is just slightly smaller than the second one, but the volume was greater. The energy behind a price move is volume. When you see greater volume but with a bar that is smaller than the previous one, it is saying buyers were entering and meeting the effort of sellers. This is what prevented the range of the last bar from extending lower. It is a small "tell," as it were, but worth noting.

We think there are no accidents in the market, which is why we pointed to the wide range up bar from August. It began an important rally, and gold's decline just happened to stop at that level. Were gold to continue lower next week and erase that support, then that low would lose its potential significance. Everything must be confirmed by subsequent action.

Observing the second and third bars from the end, the high volume on the third bar shows buyers were present, based on the location of the close, off the lows. The second to last bar made a new low, just barely, but closed on the high of the range and above the previous day's close, telling us buyers won the battle that day. This is another indication of buyers overcoming effort of sellers at a point where sellers are supposed to be in total control.

This may not turn the tide yet, but there is some evidence that buyers are making a show not seen in the past several trading days. As to the last bar, it was lower on the day, but not very deep into the last two days' lows, and that says a weak effort from sellers.

Buy physical gold, without blinking. Stay away from the long side of futures. Only some unexpected surprise can turn these markets around on a dime, and anything can happen, but barring that, it takes time for a trend to turn, and without evidence that the lows for this down swing are confirmed, gold and silver have a lot of work to do.

By Michael Noonan

http://edgetraderplus.com

Michael Noonan, mn@edgetraderplus.com, is a Chicago-based trader with over 30 years in the business. His sole approach to analysis is derived from developing market pattern behavior, found in the form of Price, Volume, and Time, and it is generated from the best source possible, the market itself.

? 2013 Copyright Michael Noonan - All Rights Reserved Disclaimer: The above is a matter of opinion provided for general information purposes only and is not intended as investment advice. Information and analysis above are derived from sources and utilising methods believed to be reliable, but we cannot accept responsibility for any losses you may incur as a result of this analysis. Individuals should consult with their personal financial advisors.

? 2005-2013 http://www.MarketOracle.co.uk - The Market Oracle is a FREE Daily Financial Markets Analysis & Forecasting online publication.

Source: http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article39170.html

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Christian Science Monitor | Science

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NM House OKs budget with merit pay for teachers

SANTA FE, N.M. (AP) -- New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez's administration will receive money to establish a merit pay system for teachers under a proposed state budget approved Thursday by the House despite objections from Democrats.

The House approved the financial blueprint on a 53-16 vote on Thursday, and sent it to the Senate for consideration. Only Democrats voted against the bill.

The measure will allocate nearly $5.9 billion for public schools, colleges and state government programs ? ranging from prisons to health care ? in the fiscal year starting in July. That's an increase of 4.2 percent, or $239 million.

The budget leaves $19 million available for additional increases by the Senate and to offset possible tax cuts. The governor has proposed $47 million in tax reductions next year, including cutting the corporate income tax rate.

The largest share of the budget ? nearly $2.6 billion or a 4.6 percent increase ? will go for public schools, the Public Education Department and other educational programs.

Several Democrats objected to the proposed education spending.

"You can't come up here without someone having some type of reform. I wish we would throw out that word because what we need more than reform is sufficient funding. We have been starving these schools since '09," said Rep. Mimi Stewart, an Albuquerque Democrat and chairwoman of the Education Committee who voted against the budget.

The measure provides $3 million for a pilot program of merit pay to reward high-performing teachers. The governor had requested $11 million for the pay incentives.

"The idea of merit pay implies that the teacher force is withholding good teaching until they're being given more money, and I think it's so wrong," said Rep. Christine Trujillo, an Albuquerque Democrat who is retired educator.

Rep. Don Tripp, a Socorro Republican, defended the proposal.

"I know there is some heart burn with the merit pay for teachers and I agree that we don't have enough to reward everyone that's doing a good job but we have to start somewhere. So I think the fact that we have any money in there for the merit pay is probably one of the most important things I've seen put in the budget in many, many years," Tripp said.

The House trimmed money for several of the governor's educational initiatives. Lawmakers provided $11 million to help students with reading problems in early grades but the governor wanted $13 million. The budget allocates $4 million to help struggling schools although Martinez recommended $4.7 million.

The bill will increase state aid for special education by $12 million next year and authorizes an additional $20 million if needed to help resolve a dispute with the federal government.

Stewart said that may not be enough to prevent losses of federal aid for special education. New Mexico potentially ran afoul of federal requirements for maintaining special education services when lawmakers cut state aid to public schools to help balance the budget in 2010 and 2011 when the New Mexico economy soured.

The budget provides about $35 million for 1 percent pay raises for state workers and educators and 3 percent for state police. It will be the first across-the-board salary increase for public employees since 2008.

The governor did not recommend pay raises for educators or government workers in her spending recommendations to the Legislature.

"Gov. Martinez's priorities are to keep our fiscal house in order, while investing in education reform and tax reform to create more jobs," said spokesman Enrique Knell. "The budget passed by the House represents a bipartisan compromise toward achieving our shared goals."

Besides money for yearly government operations, the budget allocates nearly $109 million to supplement agency budgets or finance one-time projects. About $20 million is for road improvements statewide, $6.5 million for legal costs to defend New Mexico's water rights, $2.4 million for state police cars, $2.4 million for a new teacher and principal evaluation system and $6 million for economic development programs.

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Follow Barry Massey on Twitter at https://twitter.com/bmasseyAP

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/nm-house-oks-budget-merit-143253812.html

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